Sunday, November 11, 2012

Cancer at 41 (4)

On Friday, November 9th, I had my last chemo treatment.  I had planned for it to be a celebration.  However, about 3 weeks ago, I found out my mother had metastasized ovarian cancer (stage 3/4, not positive yet because they have not been able to operate).  She had her first chemo treatment and got terribly ill; to the point that she wasn't sure she wanted to continue.  That made celebrating my last treatment a little difficult.  Although, I have completed my treatment, I am still dealing with cancer, just in a different way.  I think everyone has experienced cancer to some degree, with someone they love, and can understand what I am talking about.  I am scared and worried for my mother but hopeful and proud of how I have handled my illness.  I am also worried that I may follow in her path.  And to top it off, she is in Ohio and I am in Colorado, so we cannot be together.  Phone conversations are hard, so not being together may be God's way of protecting us, as well; helping each of us to be able to focus our energies where they need to be. That is a lot to take in at this time.  (By the way, thank you to my brother who was able to talk my mom off her ledge and she is still willing to continue her treatments!)

Friends and family from Facebook and in my other realms of life held a prayer vigil for both of us tonight, with over 100 people participating.  That kind of love, support and lifting up, is absolutely amazing to me!  I would never have imagined that there were so many people out there willing to support my family the way they have.  It has given me the strength I need to progress toward recovery.  I will be a breast cancer survivor, just like my mom and grandmother before me!  If my path follows my mother's, and I develop another kind of cancer down the road, I will deal with it as it comes.  I cannot spend my time in fear of what may happen to me in the future or I will miss all the good things I have fought this battle to hang on to and all you have supported me to do.

Thank you, and love, to all of you!!!